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What’s Important Now? Get the WINning Edge
By: Kathy Paauw
"I thank God I live in a country where dreams can come true, where failure is
sometimes the first step to success, and where success is only another form of
failure if we forget where our priorities should be."
- Harry Lloyd
Over the past decade I have noticed an increase in the number of clients who
report that they have ADD -- Attention Deficit Disorder. Although some have been
officially diagnosed with this disorder by a medical professional, I suspect
that others have read about ADD and identify with one of the key indicators:
difficulty maintaining focus. We have so much stimulation around us that it
becomes difficult not to get distracted. I wonder how many people truly have ADD
and how many simply lose focus because they’re feeling pulled in too many
different directions.
As a productivity consultant and a life coach, I don’t get hung up on the
labels. (That's not to suggest that I make light of this diagnosis, as I know
that ADD can create tremendous challenges for some.) Whether you have ADD or
not, I’ll bet there are times when you feel unfocused and off purpose. I
certainly do!
I have incorporated two acronyms into my life that help keep me on purpose.
* WIN: What’s Important Now? It’s amazing how asking such a simple question can
help when you’re feeling overwhelmed and unfocused. Another version of this
question that I sometimes ask myself is, If I say yes to this, what will I be
saying no to? Asking these questions help me snap my focus back on what’s most
important.
* ERO: When I feel out of control or like a victim, I think about this powerful
equation:
E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome)
Although I was never very good at math, I do remember that what precedes the
equal sign is called a variable, and what follows the equal sign is called the
quotient. In order to change the quotient (the Outcome), you must change a
variable. Often you cannot change one of the variables -- an Event that happens
in your life -- but you can choose your Response to that Event. By choosing your
Response, you will affect the Outcome.
These two acronyms are related to each other by one factor; they both require
self-management.
Principles of Self-Management
"In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was
over themselves...self-discipline with all of them came first."
-- Harry S Truman
Valentine’s Day is around the corner. It’s a bittersweet day for me; 24 years
ago my father had a heart attack and died on that day. He was 47 years old. He
did not practice self-care very well – a factor that contributed to his untimely
death. For me, Valentine’s Day serves as an important reminder to practice three
fundamental principles of self-management: (1) Focus on what you want; (2) know
yourself well; and (3) create structures to support you.
1. Focus on what you want.
"The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the
mastery of his passions."
-- Alfred Lord Tennyson
There are three elements to consider when thinking about what you really want in
your life:
Your Purpose – the core of who you are and what you uniquely have to offer.
Your Vision- a compelling image of an achievable future.
Your Mission- what you will do to perpetuate your vision.
The clearer your vision, the greater your chances of achieving your goals.
Having a clear vision and purpose will also keep you in touch with the
motivation behind your goals, which is essential for sticking to any plan. (For
more about motivation, read Getting Motivated to Get Organized.) Here are some
top New Year’s resolutions and examples of how you could visualize them more
clearly:
Lose Weight: In addition to imagining yourself thin, visualize having the energy
to do an activity you’ve wanted to do for a long time, visualize attracting your
ideal life partner, or whatever losing weight will enable you to do that you are
not doing now.
Save Money: Visualize what you will be doing when you having enough money saved
to achieve your long-term goals -- going on your dream vacation, living in your
dream home, taking early retirement, taking a year off to work as a volunteer
for a cause you feel passionate about, attending your kids’ graduation from
college, or whatever saving money represents for you.
Get Organized: Visualize yourself enjoying an environment and a schedule that
enables you to work, play, and live exactly as you want to.
When we focus on what we want, we are more likely to attract it into our lives.
Rebecca Hanson, author of Law of Attraction for Business, describes the
Universal Law of Attraction: "We attract whatever we choose to give our
attention to -- whether wanted or unwanted. Our thoughts, feelings, emotions and
moods emit vibrations (similar to sound waves) that draw to us people, places,
things and events that match our own vibrations." If you can't relate to the
idea that you 'put out vibes,' perhaps it's easier to imagine how you regularly
signal others thorugh your own body language and demeanor.
Here's a perfect example. My friend and colleague, Patty, shops at the same
grocery store all the time, and usually she is very warm and friendly with the
employees. She may enter the store and hear them grumbling about how the
management overworks them and never shows appreciation...but by the time Patty
leaves, they have a smile on their faces and seem happy to be there. Their
entire mood shifts when Patty shops there. Why? If you met Patty you'd know why.
She's one of those "feel good" people to be around! I love spending time with
her -- or even talking with her on the phone -- as she always lifts my spirits.
Patty recently shared a story about how she was having an "off" day and was in a
bad mood. That day as she entered the store, she was very quiet and did not
smile. She ordered something from the deli. She recounted to me later, "The deli
clerk filled my order, but he wanted to drop me like a hot rock...so unlike the
way he usually is with me. He didn't smile or ask how my day was going, like he
usually does." As she recalled this experience, Patty realized just how much her
own signals and body language affected others.
What are you visualizing? What are you giving your attention to? What vibes or
signals are you emitting? Does this reflect what you want and choose to attract
into your life? Whatever you focus on may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. For
example, do you know people who often say, "I always have the worst luck!"...and
it seems like those people have a black cloud following them everywhere they go?
Energy follows thought.
2. Know yourself well.
"Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don't control
what you think, you can't control what you do. Simply, self-discipline enables
you to think first and act afterward."
-- Napoleon Hill
Understand your strengths, weaknesses, and behavioral style. Do you tend to be
an over-doer or an under-achiever? Are you more subjective or objective? Do you
focus on the details or the big picture? What are your strengths and weaknesses?
Assessment tools can help you learn more about your own behavioral style. You
may also be interested in reading my article, Discovering Your Strengths.
Beware of self-sabotage. You probably know yourself well enough to anticipate
the pitfalls that could sabotage your best intentions. Example: you were doing
great on your diet until your family started complaining about what you’ve been
fixing for dinner. In frustration, you gave up and went back to your old meal
preparation habits. To be more healthy and energetic, you’ll need to make a
fundamental choice to live as a healthy person would. You’ll need to counter
negative self-talk -- “Why bother to eat healthy when my family doesn’t think
it’s important!” – with positive self-talk -- “I choose to be healthy,
regardless of how my family feels.” Is your self-talk saying I should…, I have
to…, or is it saying I choose to…?
Don’t let your emotions rule. This is where E + R = O becomes such a powerful
tool to use! Do you allow your emotions to determine your commitment level to
achieving your goal? Focus on what you want and choose … not how you feel at the
moment. Example: you’ve made a commitment to yourself to clear your desk before
leaving the office each day…and at the end of the day you feel really tired and
not in the mood to put things away. You just want to get home, have dinner and
relax. Here’s how E + R = O works:
Event: It’s the end of a workday and your desk is a mess.
Response #1: You decide to leave your desk the way it is and go home.
Outcome: Tomorrow morning you come into your office and feel defeated before the
workday even begins. As you look at what is on your desk, you feel overwhelmed,
distracted, stressed and out of control.
Event: It’s the end of a workday and your desk is a mess.
Response #2: You spend your last 10 minutes in the office filing things away and
you drop the outgoing mail in a mailbox on your way home.
Outcome: Tomorrow morning you come into your office and sit down at a clear
desk. You spend the first few minutes planning how you will focus your energy
and time for the day. You feel calm and in control.
3. Create structures to support you.
"We deceive ourselves when we fancy that only weakness needs support. Strength
needs it far more."
-- Anne Sophie Swetchine
Have a Plan. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! If you focus on an
entire project, it may feel too big and impossible to achieve. Break it down
into smaller steps and create a schedule or timeline. In other words, eat one
bite at a time. This will get you closer to your goal than all the best (but
unrealized) intentions. Many people never get out of the starting gate or get
stalled out in the early stages because the project or goal seems too big and
unattainable.
Build in feedback, encouragement and accountability to help you stay on track.
Develop whatever support systems you need to achieve your goals. My own life
coach serves as a great support to me. Once a week we meet by phone and I have
an opportunity to receive feedback and encouragement. I also use the time for
accountability check-ins. When things don’t go as I wanted them to, my coach
provides a safe, non-judgmental environment to examine what happened and harvest
the learning that I gained from the experience. Then I can try something
different in the coming week, choose to postpone or delegate it, or determine
that I am not committed to doing it so I can move on to something else.
About The Author
This article was written by Kathy Paauw of Paauwerfully Organized. Kathy's web
site offers a comprehensive resource devoted to helping busy professionals and
small business owners de-clutter their schedules, spaces, and minds so they can
focus on what's most important. Kathy is an organizing & productivity
consultant, certified business & personal coach, and speaker. Contact her at
mailto:kathy@orgcoach.net. For free resources and valuable productivity tools
visit http://www.orgcoach.net.
kathy@orgcoach.net
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